Wednesday 27 February 2019

Sex and The Silver Gays

There were some gender non conforming men one of whom was at Stonewall Riots. How do other gay men of their generation relate to them?

As potential sex partners, friends and as brothers/others & sisters in arms.

(At least I do.)

There were completely different gender issues then, we segregated ourselves by sexuality and gender in the gay

bars of that era, and this is where we supported and strengthened ourselves for the broader fight for the rights that now make those segregated spaces (like gay bars/dyke bars) largely unnecessary now. Bars are victims of our social success, like the strict gender roles butch/femme, clone/twink which are archaic now. Gender/Queer Theory was nascent at the time, now it is approaching dogma and millenials must represent that. Gender non-conforming used to fit into an “otherness” which was embraced by the queers of the day, even if they were mostly celebrating their way butch-ness or seriously femme-ness. It was seen as a queer-political choice as opposed to a theoretical one. Gender/identity issues became ascendent when oppression issues declined.

You show explicit gay sex with ageing men, why? 
  • So people get it and get used to it!
  •  Seeing is believing – No CGI !!
  • Censoring is selling out!
Many of the men spoke about sensuality and cuddling and (tugging?) – why do you think this might seem a rarity to hear men speak in this way about sex?

Most frank talk about sex is a rarity. A cultural shunning, shyness, embarrassment.

This is the crux of my career. I want to de-shame sexuality. Most of the human issues I personally & artisically deal with are a direct result of my sexuality. The actual mechanics of it. Finding it, doing it, it’s political meaning & it’s repercussions. And gay male sexuality is way different than gay female sexuality, & straight sexuality – actually each sexuality is unique! They’re ALL fabulous and gay sex is what I know. It is my own experience. I want to anaylze and investigate those experiences. In mainstream eyes, I am making pornography! We are so afraid of incorporating our genitals into normal discourse, that we’ve made it clinical and lifeless (Master’s & Johnson) or forbidden and “pornographic.” Whereas in antiquity, the naked human form dominated the art & culture (at least that’s what’s left). It seems that sexuality was much more integrated into the general culture in past societies. Now we have separated the two, like high/low culture, erotica vs. porn. Who is to tell which is which? Where are the differences made over something you masturbate to and something your culture respects? The legal
porn definition: “I’ll know it when I see it” represents an unspoken bias, a rule, a taboo.
Sex undergirds almost everything, but we are in active and insidious denial about it. That makes us want it even more! I also want more but I want the “Why?’s” asked & answered too, even if it’s way too much for our sexphobic western culture.

The play room as a space to build family for ageing gay men- your thoughts?

Older men are shunned when beauty is celebrated in the sexual excess of youth. But desire doesn’t fade (at least mine.) It becomes increasingly acute as we age away from the “beautiful youth ideal” Actual sexual

opportunities will also fade if we too ardently chase an evanescent youth ideal. Therefore we must come together more for our individual needs than our collective desire. It is important to have the structure of sexual giving instituted as opportunities naturally cease. The PrimeTimers Sex parties foster a stronger, more resilient community. After the hubris of youth is gone, sex becomes more of a necessary bodily function. And as we age, we start to need help with these normal functions, physical and mental. The PrimeTimers sex parties do exactly that.

SEX & The Silver Gays (2016)
“SEX & The Silver Gays” tells the idiosyncratic story of the New York Prime Timers, the randy NYC Chapter of the national senior gay men’s organization. Amidst their flurry of elderly activities, the New York Prime Timers members also actively participate in monthly sex parties. These octogenarian orgiasts invite us to their intimate gathering, illustrate explicitly their carnal activities and explain to us, both frankly and inspiringly: who they are; their own shared histories; and what it means to their lives to share joyful, consensual sexual celebrations for as long as may be possible

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